Bootylicious at the Hair Salon

So, I paid more than $5.00 dollars for my haircut and I love it.
Hugo Alexandro is a cutting maestro. When he introduced himself to me he said "I am HUgo" (really stress the HU in Hugo). He didn't ask my name, he only knew I was his 10:30AM. I showed him a picture of how I wanted my hair (Vanidad Marzo 2007 Sandra Bullock). He must have cut at least 4 inches off. It feels so good. It's shoulder length now and has a bit of a lift at the ends.

It was a new experience going to an unknown hair salon in Guadalajara, Mexico. I'm so used to Rick who knows me, my hair, provides bisquits and at times alcohol during my visits.

This is how it went:
Hugo called me over, asked me to sit in his chair, put a hair apron on me and began to cut. I showed him the picture of Sandy B. He said, "this short?" I said, "yes, but leave me enough hair to still be able to put it in a pony tail." He nodded, then he began to cut. He talked a mile a minute the entire time, but not to me. In fact, he was just talking. It was a didactic journey of recent trials and tribulations. It was HUgo and all HUgo. The room was full of HUgoites: his 3 assistants and 2 other clients waiting for him. He was talking about some big photo shoot he worked on recently where the model WAS as he put it "devinely" built. She had huge breats, long legs, hair down to her butt. She was gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. She was surrounded by indigenous looking models - estilo Apocolypto. Anyway, they fed him and provided drinks all day. The set was beautiful. He loved it. Then he moved on to describe a robbery. I didn't catch all the details but I do know his ring was stolen. I would have told him I understood since recently my IPOD was stolen and how upset I was about losing it but AGAIN we weren't having a conversation. So he continued to talk and talk. He sighed in between his stories, and occassionaly laughed. Meanwhile, he chopped away and with each second I could feel the lightness of my hair.

Then he told his female assistant, "no more appointments. I don't feel well. I'm slow today. I can't cut more hair." Meanwhile he's literally pulling an Edward Scissor hands on my hair. My hair was flying all over the place.

Once he finished cutting my hair he told assistant #1 to take me now. So, I went and sat in assistant #1's station. Then assistant #2 said, "no she comes to me first." Assistant #1 and #2 went back and forth a bit, then they finally conferred with HUgo. HUgo went back and forth, at first saying I needed to go to assistant #1, then assistant #2 said something to HUgo I didn't catch and he said, "OK, then she goes to you." Assistant number 2 rolled his eyes at me, as if to say, "I KNEW YOU CAME TO ME." So I moved stations and sat in #2's chair. Then he put some gel stuff in my hair and began to style it. Once he was finished, assistant #1 and the women that sweeps the floor came over to look at my cut and said, "beautiful."

I got up, said thanks and went to the caja to pay. With change in hand, I went to give assistant #2 a tip but he was shampooing so he signaled me to put the money in his back pocket. So, I picked up his t-shirt and put the money in his back pocket. Bootylicious. He kissed me and said good bye. Then I went to HUgo who was cutting someone else's hair but he stopped for a moment and said, "you like it?" while he ran one hand through my hair and marked me with a final HUgo hair touch. I said, "yes I love it." Then I gave him his tip and he signaled his left butt cheek and patted his ass. More bootylicious. So I put the money in his back pocket and he kissed me good bye. I felt kinda dirty, sort of strip bar embarrassment dirty.

Everyone said Buh Bye again and I took my unhip, fat ass out of there.

Thanks to HUgo Alexandro I now have a great haircut that will stylishly get me though this heat.